John of the Dead(1978)'s Horror Flick Reviews

Director – Victor Cook, Tad Stones

Cast – Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Doug Jones, Peri Gilpin, Jim Cummings, J. Grant Albrecht, James Arnold Taylor

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

The animated Hellboy series continues after Sword of Storms with Blood and Iron, an equally enjoyable piece that once again gives us Hellboy & co. kicking supernatural ass in animated fashion.

We follow the crew as they investigate a large mansion purchased by a friend of the senator who funds the paranormal ass-kicking force. The mansion holds much significance to Professor Broom, who in 1939 defeated the powerful female vampire Erzsebet Ondrushko at that very mansion, and he joins the crew to ensure the the mansion is still safe. When it becomes apparent that someone is trying to bring Erzsebet back from the dead, Hellboy & co. aid the professor in finishing unsettled business after over half a century of waiting.

I really enjoyed this storyline, adapted by Kevin Hopps from Mike Mignola and Tad Stones’ story, thanks to it involving Professor Broom to a much higher level than usual. Told in the past and present time we follow Broom as he fought to vanquish a woman who believed that bathing in the blood of young beautiful women would keep her young. Of course, this dilemma was ultimately left unsettled and Broom saw the need to investigate the mansion before the senator’s friend turned it into a ghost-themed hotel. I loved watching the storyline develop with constant flashbacks to the events that Dr. Broom saw occur at the mansion, events that are now occurring all over again. Each of our characters was used positively, especially our main characters in Hellboy, Professor Broom, Liz Sherman, Abe Sapien, and newcomer Oliver Trombolt. There is plenty of action written into this piece, which I assumed would be so, and it was great in giving us numerous antagonistic character for Hellboy and his troops to destroy, including: ghosts, wolves, witches, harpies, a giant werewolf, and Erzsebet herself in several different forms. In addition to this Kevin Hopps defied cliches often associated with animated films and gave us fantastic dialogue that aiding in presenting and developing the characters so positively.

Directors Victor Cook and Tad Stones did a great job with this one, giving us awesome visuals, great sets, and the usual enjoyable elements associated with these Hellboy films. The vocal acting performances are great, and much like Sword of Storms Hellboy, Liz, Abe, and Prof. Broom are voiced by the same actors who portrayed them in the Hellboy live-action flicks, making this piece all the more enjoyable for that reason. And the action? The action was fantastic and consisted of awesome looking antagonists and plenty of brutal confrontation in this epic battle between good and evil.

Overall, Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron is an awesome animated flick sure to please fans of the Hellboy series thanks to it giving us all of the same sweet elements found in the live-action films.

Rating: 8/10

Director – Guillermo del Toro

Cast – Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ron Perlman, Leonor Varela, Norman Reedus, Thomas Kretschmann, Luke Goss, Matt Schulze, Danny John-Jules, Donnie Yen, Karel Roden, Marit Velle Kile, Tony Curran, Daz Crawford, Santiago Segura

Release Year – 2002

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Blade is one trilogy that I have always been really screwed up with. For starters, I began with trilogy with Blade: Trinity, then Blade, and now finally I have competed this saga with Blade II – definitely the best in the series. Given to us by horror maestro Guillermo del Toro, Blade II continue the gory vampire slaying antics of the first film, but this time giving us more carnage, a unique storyline, and an overall fun and enjoyable experience for fans of the genre.

Two years have passed since the events of the first film, and now Blade faces possibly the most bizarre opportunity of his vampire slaying days – join forces with those he has spent the last 20 years killing. A new breed of vampires, deemed Reapers, are on the loose, hunting down and killing/converting every vampire they can in an attempt to eradicate the vampire race. It is now up to Blade and a team of highly trained vampires to kill the Reapers before they do away with the vampire race, and subsequently…the human race as well.

I am quite ashamed that it took me so long to get to this flick, especially because of how darn much I enjoyed it. I am not a fan of vampires but I found much joy in watching them being killed off in awesome fashion by a skilled and incorruptible warrior, and leave it to Guillermo del Toro to give me such awesomeness.

David S. Goyer(Blade, Dark City, Demonic Toys) returns to pen this adaptation of Mary Wolfman and Gene Colan’s character, and he does so with great results. I loved this storyline as it provided a unique sense of conflict for Blade, who must now team with those he despises if he wishes to save mankind from an eventual eradication from an all-powerful enemy. Blade is of course very cautions of his alliance with the vampires, and eventually it leads to some great twists and turns that made this unique tale all the more enjoyable. We get Blade and Whistler doing their thing again, and Goyer throws in many other unique characters that I found to be beneficial to the story regardless of how small or large their roles were. Each provided their own worth to the story, and they also made for great pacing as well in their fight and kill sequences, which came in multitudes due to the high number of characters we are given. The action is solid and it reigns supreme throughout the entire film, which also aided in the pacing as did the enjoyable kills that Blade never fails to deliver. For a film coming in at just under two hours in length I never once found myself bored or uninterested in what was going on, a sign of great writing and superb direction.

Speaking of direction, Guillermo del Toro was fantastic in his directorial duties, giving us engaging visuals, superb camerawork, and intense execution of the numerous action and gore sequences erupting throughout this experience. He sure has a knack for giving us sweet “super hero” flicks with a strong horror influence, and it is obvious that he respects the original material they are based on as he seems to do everything in his power to give the fans what they want to see. While not really a scary film, we get some great horror in the form of the reapers who are downright creepy and superbly designed, which I found unsurprising given del Toro’s ability to draw truly heinous creatures. We get great performances from all involved, however our big three – Wesley Snipes as Blade, Kris Kristofferson as Whistler, and del Toro-favorite Ron Perlman as Reinhardt were easily the most enjoyable to watch, and rightfully so given how much ass they kicked. Still early in his career with only Cronos, Mimic, and The Devil’s Backbone under his belt, del Toro shows his directing prominence in this piece, and since Blade II he has done nothing but better himself as one of the genre (and the industry overall’s) best directors.

Overall, Blade II is an improvement over the positive original and also makes for the best entry in the series. The storyline is great and well-written by Goyer as he never leaves us hanging or un-entertained throughout its near two-hour runtime, and del Toro’s direction sells the storyline to full potential by giving us incredible action, great camerawork, and awesome performances from everyone involved.

Rating: 8/10

Director – Guillermo del Toro

Cast – Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones, John Alexander, James Dodd, Seth MacFarlane(voice), Luke Goss, Anna Walton, Jeffrey Tambor, John Hurt, Brian Steele

Release Year – 2008

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy remains one of my favorite superhero movies to date, and while he outdid himself with his follow-up film, Pan’s Labyrinth, del Toro continued his Hellboy saga with Hellboy II: The Golden Army.  The last time I had seen this film was when it debuted in theaters back in 2008, so I was itching to see if this film was as fun as I remembered it to be…and it was.  Continuing the awesome elements of the first entry, this sequel is equally as enjoyable as its predecessor, and comes with some good horror action as well.

When a long-standing truce between mankind and the mythical creatures of our underworld is compromised by a vengeful elf, Prince Nauda(Luke Goss), Hellboy(Ron Perlman; Alien: Resurrection, The City of Lost Children, Cronos) and his team must combat the elf and his minions before he resurrects the most powerful weapon of all time…The Golden Army, an army of indestructible robots banished to a faraway place to never be used again.  As Hellboy aims to stop the elf and save humanity once a gain, he learns of humanity’s ingratitude towards him and the other “freaks” he works with, leaving him to fight for a world that now despises him.

I knew that I was going to enjoy this film going into it the very first time I saw it, leaving Guillermo del Toro(Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Devil’s Backbone, Cronos, Mimic, Blade II) as one of the few directors that I completely trust to give me a good watch every time.  This time the storyline takes a few more twists and turns, which is usually the case with a sequel given the original film must spend its runtime setting up the story.  I really loved the idea of the Golden Army in this film, and the background history involving the truce between the humans and the mythical  beings that surround them in secrecy.  The dialogue between all of the characters involved is fantastic, and definitely aids in selling the film to the viewer and assisting the pacing for this nearly two hour film.  We get numerous twists, turns, and developments as well, which come in all angles including Hellboy, Abe Sapien, Liz, as well as a new and unique character, Robert Krauss(voiced by “Family Guy”’s Seth McFarlane).  All in all, the storyline is great, but what else would you expect from an iconic writer?

As expected, del Toro’s direction is top-notch, and he expertly sells each scene with unique visuals and awesome camerawork.  The production value for the film is very high, and the CGI used is incredibly well done.  Surprisingly, some of the scenes that I thought were CGI were actually half CGI and half live-action, which I was astounded to learn given just how hard it must have been to film those scenes with the live-action actions involved.  We get some incredible looking characters and villains, which only add to the viewer’s enjoyment of what is going on before them.  As a child del Toro spent many years creating monsters and goblins with pen and paper, so it comes as no surprise to me that he would give us such cool looking creatures to marvel at.  As with the first film, we get great performances from all those involved, especially that lovable red beast we call Hellboy.  Ron Perlman’s return to the series came as no surprise to me, because I figure that despite the hours of make-up work it takes to “become” Hellboy, he loves the hell out of that character.  This being a sequel, the film is able to take off quicker due to it not having to introduce the characters all over again, and because of that we are introduced to more action and fight scenes.  The action sequences were awesomely executed, and came with epic sets that carried many dangers of their own due to their surroundings, which only added some sweet tension to what was already going on beforehand.

Overall, this is an awesome sequel to one of the coolest superhero films out there.  Guillermo del Toro once again delivers a tight screenplay that makes this near two hour film flow beautifully, and his direction is top-not as usual, giving us awesome visuals, great action, and superb execution of all elements involved.

Rating: 9/10

Director – Guillermo del Toro

Cast – Ron Perlman, John Hurt, Rupert Evans, Selma Blair, Karel Roden, Jeffrey Tambor, Doug Jones, Brian Steele, Ladislav Beran, Biddy Hodson, Corey Johnson

Release Year – 2004

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Anyone familiar with the comic book scene has to know of Mike Mignola’s highly successful and equally awesome “Hellboy” series.  When I first heard that this story would be turned into a full-length feature film I was beyond stoked, and when word came out that it was horror director Guillermo del Toro(Cronos, Mimic, The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth, Blade II) himself writing and directing the film my mouth dropped, and I cannot say that I have fully recovered from the ordeal.  One of the most underrated superhero stories of all time, Hellboy delivers heavily on excitement and a loveable character with more balls than all other superheroes combined.

During the final days of WWII before the collapse of the Nazi empire, Hitler’s obsession with the occult lead him to conjure up dark forces to aid his dying cause.  The Allied forces managed to obstruct Hitler’s plan to use black magic, but not before a young demon made his way into our world.  The Allies deemed this demon “Hellboy”, and he has since worked for a secret sect of the US government as their front line defense against attacks from the supernatural.  When a mysterious and well-hidden artifact within a museum is stolen by creatures not from this world, Hellboy’s usual ass-kicking antics get the job done at first, but a sinister plan from an ancient evil with ties to Hitler’s occult holds the power to bring on an apocalypse of Biblical proportions.

Nearly all of us can relate to superhero stories and films, especially if you grew up in the comic book or graphic novel scenes.  While Hellboy may not be seen as the type of superhero that Batman or Superman is, I see him as a superhero because he does the right thing, and he kicks a lot of ass doing it.

Guillermo del Toro’s screenplay is air-tight, and despite coming in at a two hour runtime his film flows and moves smoothly without any delay or slow scenes.  The bulk of his storyline comes from the “Seed of Destruction” storyline, but el Toro throws in elements from the “Right Hand of Doom” and “Box Full of Evil” short stories as well, as well as several shout-outs to “Pancakes” and “The Corpse”.  He has always mentioned Hellboy as his dream film, and it is obvious that the guy is a fan with how well this film turned out.  From the get-go we are thrown into the unique storyline of Hellboy’s origins, which I found fantastic due to the mystique involved given Hitler’s influence on the matter.  Anything involving history will grab my attention, especially if it either rewrites history or shows us elements of history that are lesser-known to the general public.  I am also a fan of the supernatural, so when you mix both the supernatural and history, especially WWII history, you have my devout attention.  From then on out we are given the awesomeness that is Hellboy, and in more ways than one.  We watch him battle the supernatural with his slew of awesome weapons and diabolical wit, which includes many unique and horrifying villains sure to please those looking for a superhero film with a strong element of horror.  What surprised me about this film was the other way in which Hellboy is awesome…he has a heart.  There is always a romantic element thrown into every superhero film, but I really was not expecting one in this film simply because of how badass Hellboy is.  I mean, he is a demon for crying out loud.  Nonetheless, we are given a well-written love element involving Selma Blair(Can’t Hardly Wait, Scream 2, The Fog remake) as Hellboy’s love interest which adds a nice human touch to this awesome superhero.  Thankfully, the awesomeness of this storyline does not end there, and we are given several other positive characters that add to the film’s enjoy ability.  For a film to run for two hours there has to be several elements to keep the viewer engaged, and Hellboy’s friends do just that.

The biggest reason behind this film’s very positive rating is the fact that del Toro’s direction is as good as his screenplay.  I mentioned earlier that for a film this long to keep the viewer engaged there would have to be several elements required to do so, and del Toro’s visuals do the trick.  Right from the get-go we are thrown into his visual masterpiece that includes numerous incredible sets and incredible camerawork, as well as awesome looking heroes and villains.  His execution of every fight scene is invigorating, and was so well done that I never noticed just how little blood the film shows until after the climax, when I noticed the film was PG-13.  He gets great character performances from all, and I applaud him heavily for stubbornly fighting for Ron Perlman(Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I Sell The Dead, Cronos, The City of Lost Children, Alien: Resurrection, Blade II, The Last Winter, The Island of Dr. Moreau – 1996) to land the role of Hellboy.  Perlman was perfect in every aspect there is, including his physical features as well as his ability to show emotion and sarcasm.  We also get a great performance from John Hurt as Prof. Trevor “Broom” Bruttenholm, the man who raised Hellboy, and Selma Blair did a fine job as Hellboy’s love interest.  I do feel that a few characters were miscast, although their performances were as good as they could have been.  Rupert Evans played a strong supporting role as John Myers, but I never found myself giving much of a damn for him.  I do not really blame it on how his character was written, although that could be the case.  The other actor I felt was miscast was Jeffrey Tambor as Tom Manning.  I have loved Jeffrey Tambor(Hellboy II: The Golden Army) ever since he gave us the hilarious George/Oscar Bluth in “Arrested Development”, but I felt that he never really fit into his role in this film.  Nonetheless his and Rupert’s performances were good, so they did not detriment from the film in the end.

Overall, this is an awesome film that finally gives us a superhero with a strong element of horror and an even higher level of ass-kicking.  Fans of Mike Mignola’s comic series should be pleased with this film given Guillermo del Toro’s respectful treatment of the series, and Ron Perlman’s iconic performance as Hellboy.  A unique story and incredible direction make this a hour film an incredibly engaging watch that I recommend to all.

Rating: 9/10

Director – Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Cast – Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Dominique Pinon, Ron Perlman, Gary Dourdan, Michael Wincott, Kim Flowers, Dan Hedaya, J.E. Freeman, Brad Dourif, Raymond Cruz, Leland Orser

Release Year – 1997

Reviewed by John of the Dead

As an avid fan of the Alien series, I really cannot get enough of these films.  While Alien 3 failed to hit as hard as the first two entries(Alien, Aliens), it still gave me what I wanted to see, as did this film…Alien: Resurrection.  Giving us good alien action in a film that moves very well, Alien: Resurrection is a step up from Alien 3, and I believe it gives us Alien fans what we want to see in this positive effort.

200 years after the events of Alien 3, which includes Ripley’s death, she is successfully cloned by a military contractor who plans to use the alien queen inside of her for their evil bidding.  The queen is successfully cloned along with Ripley, although there has been a genetic crossover between the two.  Ripley now has alien characteristics, and the alien queen has now attained certain human characteristics.  A group of mercenaries has been contracted by the contractor to hijack a ship containing scientists in deep cryogenesis, who they plan to use as hosts for a new batch of aliens.  The mercenaries have a plan of their own, and while they manage to hijack the mothership, the quick-learning aliens are able to escape their cages and wreak havoc upon all those they come across.  With the military and mercenaries at war with one another, and a slew of aliens lead by an even more powerful alien queen, Ripley must once again fight the alien race she has spent nearly 300 years trying to defeat.

Unlike Alien 3, Alien: Resurrection continues to add new elements to the series, which at first came off a bit fishy to me but judging by the end product I must say that these new elements/ideas worked very well for the film.  Written by the same man who wrote Toy Story, Joss Whedon, we get a unique idea in that the film is set many more years into the future, and we get a cloned Ripley.  I found some faults with the cloned Ripley at times, mainly due to her not being the usual Ripley we have seen in the previous films, but a cold and somewhat robotic character that I found unlikable at times, but once the carnage gets going she kicks ass regardless of her state of mind and eventually turns to her original self.  I did enjoy that Mr. Whedon incorporated a genetic crossover in which Ripley and the queen alien exchanged abilities, which I found mostly enjoyable in regards to the alien queen given it allowed her to…birth an alien/human hybrid.  The idea was great, and it added a nice touch to a series that after Alien 3 was starting to get a bit redundant with its alien usage.  We get quite a few colorful characters thrown in as well, which came mainly from the group of mercenaries that board the military vessel.  Each had their own unique personality, unique usage of weapons, and possessed the ability to kick a lot of ass, so what’s not to like about them?  Oh, and they each come portrayed by some pretty favorable actors, but I’ll get into that later.  The film paces very well, and gives us 105 minutes of good action and non-stop developments to keep the viewer engaged.  All in all, I can imagine that Alien: Resurrection did not come with the anticipation of AVP: Alien vs. Predator debuting 7 years later in 2004, which to me leaves Alien: Resurrection as the final piece to the Alien saga, and thankfully comes with a very satisfying climax as well.

Director Jean-Pierre Jeunet(Delicatessen, The City of Lost Children) does a fantastic job bringing his film to screen, and had me engaged in everything that was going on right from the get-go.  His camerawork is good, his sets are fantastic(as usual with these films), and he delivers lots of action and alien carnage as well.  He settled for very few CGI effects and instead gave us lots of live-action aliens, including the two giant aliens we get in the film, and delivered some heavy amounts of live-action gore as well, always a plus.  His usage of the film’s colorful characters also helped sell the film to me, giving us the always fantastic Ron Perlman(Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I Sell The Dead, Blade II), my favorite CSI tech Gary Dourdan(Perfect Stranger), the shoplifting Winona Ryder(Dracula), and the usually crazy Michael Wincott as the film’s only mercenary bound to a wheel chair(one of the fun elements written into the film by Joss Whedon).  I mentioned earlier that the pacing was very good, and it comes not only from Joss Whedon’s positive screenplay but from great direction by Jean-Pierre Jeunet as well.  The tension reins high in this flick, and this being a step above Alien 3 made this a satisfying closure to this infamous horror franchise.

Overall, this is a very positive addition to the Alien franchise that delivers heavily on the alien carnage and throws many other forms of great action as well.  A unique story coupled with great direction made this a good way to end the series, and leave us Alien fans with a satisfying grin.

Rating: 7/10

Director – Glenn McQuaid

Cast – Dominic Monaghan, Ron Perlman, Larry Fessenden, Angus Scrimm, John Speredakos, Eileen Colgan, Brenda Cooney, Daniel Manche, Joel Garland

Release Year – 2008

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Once again another great horror film goes unappreciated by many, despite awesome content and superb direction.  In this case, the victim is I Sell The Dead, a witty UK horror film sure to please fans of atmospheric horror, as well as anyone who enjoys the usage of the undead.

I Sell The Dead stars Dominic Monaghan(The Lord of The Rings trilogy) as Arthur Blake, a renowned grave robber on the eve of his execution for a murder he did not commit.  Father Duffy(Ron Perlman; Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, The Last Winter) has come to meet Arthur and prepare him spiritually for his execution, but Father Duffy’s curiosity over Arthur’s grave robbing business gets the best of him, and with the aid of a bottle of whiskey Arthur unleashes the fascinating events he came across while working his “trade”.

Fans of atmospheric and well-shot horror films reminiscent of old Mario Bava flicks should enjoy this one.  Writer/director Glenn McQuaid obviously went for “cool” with this film, and found it from the get-go with awesome visuals, a sweet musical score, and a script with a storyline I have yet to see fully endorsed in the genre, but one I will gladly accept.  I loved the look and feel throughout each of the graveyard scenes, especially because McQuaid decided to employ the ever classic foggy backdrops we saw much of in 50s horror, yet rarely see anymore these days.  The live-action effects are great as well, and we get a few good spooks thanks to some sweet looking undeads, which do not rely merely on zombies, but vampires too.  It is about time we see both zombies and vampires in the same film, and this filmmaker made it happen while blending in a few other horror sub-genres as well.

It is hard for me to say which is sweeter in this flick, McQuaid’s direction or his writing.  This really may be one of the first times that I can say that both writing and direction are equally matched, which comes as even more of a surprise given they both come from one individual.  His pacing is superb, and I never found myself facing a dull moment thanks to a good script, great execution, and a proper 85 minute runtime.  The idea of grave robbing is something we really do not see too often in the genre, and I cannot understand why.  All you have to do is use the corpses as antagonists and you pretty much have an interesting horror film already at your fingertips, yet somehow it seems this idea has yet to catch on.  I really liked how this flick was told to us via Arthur Blake via first person accounts, simply because it just added a different feel to the film.  Many unique ideas were brought into the story as we chronicle the many hijinks Arthur and his partner Willie Grimes(Larry Fessenden; Wendigo, The Last Winter) would get themselves into, which made this a truly enjoyable and memorable watch.  I really did expect to see more of Ron Perlman, but like the great actor he is he made the most out of his scenes and sold his character well.

Overall, this is a fun horror film that comes with many elements of “cool” that are thankfully expertly executed into a sweet experience.  The atmosphere is awesome, the jokes induce laughter, and the story is one we rarely get in the genre, but unique and worthwhile nonetheless.

Rating: 7/10

You can read another review for I Sell The Dead from another close buddy of mine, a legitimate horror buff, HERE.

Director – Larry Fessenden

Cast – Ron Perlman, James LeGros, Connie Britton, Zach Gilford, Kevin Corrigan, Jamie Harrold, Pato Hoffman, Joanne Shenandoah, Larry Fessenden

Release Year – 2006

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I first came across this film one night while scoping the DVD section at my local Wal-Mart.  Adorned with some pretty fantastic quotes from critics, I was forced to grasp the DVD and give it a thorough front/back cover inspection.  Much to my surprise, I noticed that this film starred Ron Perlman, which was an immediate indicator that I had to see this flick.  I was iffy on how well this flick would come out though, given this flick is written and directed by Larry Fessenden and his huge forehead, which gave us the mediocre 2001 DTV flick Wendigo, which way too many horror fans are aware of for some odd reason.  Well, I am glad I went into this flick not expecting anything great, and I believe that prepared me for just how bad this flick really is.

Ron Perlman(Hellboy, Hellboy II: The Golden Army) stars as Ed Pollack, a no-nonsense manager of an isolated group of employees employed by the American oil company KIC Corporation.  The American people are seeking energy independence, and the oil underneath the Alaskan tundra may be the key to such independence, and KIC is there to acquire the oil.  Due to the environmental nature regarding such oil drilling, KIC is forced to employ environmental scientist James Hoffman to sign off on any and all activities that would have an effect on the environment.  When Hoffman has doubts over Pollack’s idea to speed up the oil drilling, this causes a rift between the two mentally polar opposites, but that proves to be the least of their worries.  When one of their crewmen is found dead one morning, a videotape showing his last moments alive shows a troubling situation to Mr. Hoffman.  Hoffman believes that fumes from under the tundra are causing the hallucinations the young crewman was suffering from, and when another death occurs it seems Hoffman may just in fact be right.  Unfortunately for the crew, Hoffman is only partly right about what is going on, as the true nature behind the deaths is far worse than imagined.

I find it funny that this film is titled The Last Winter, because this is definitely the very LAST time I am going to watch this flick.  At first I was hooked on what was going on, mainly because the isolated and very cold environment alongside a research/work facility reminded me a lot of John Carpenter’s The Thing, so naturally I was hoping I would get some decent conflict from whatever antagonist this film had in store me.  The atmosphere was already set, all I needed was just a moderately creepy antagonist with some moderate execution and this film would have been a positive watch, but as you can tell by now…that was not the case.

We are left in the dark throughout the majority of the film as to what is really going on out in the slowly warming tundra, and unless you are wide awake with nothing to do, as I was when I viewed this flick, you will be in for a very boring ride.  In all honesty, we do not get the slightest amount of antagonistic conflict until over an hour into the film(I want to say about 75 minutes into the flick is the best element) and by the climax I still had no real clue as to what was going on, and I never found out either.  It is because of this overly long and worthless development that this film paced so very slow and was such a boring watch.

Ron Perlman was fun to watch, as he always is, and I really wanted this to be a fun watch because of that.  I would love to see him excel in the horror realm outside of the Hellboy series, but this flick just cannot do that for him at this point.  Oh well, I should have expected so.

Overall, this is a poor watch that I recommend you stay away from unless you somehow feel you can enjoy this more than I did(doubtful).  Nothing really happens in this film, AT ALL, and I was left with a new definition of “wasted time’ in my dictionary.

Rating: 4/10

The “Masters of Horror” TV series shown on Showtime was a short-lived yet nice shout-out to horror fans that unfortunately only lasted two seasons, totaling 26 episodes, and only gave us 19 of horror’s best directors.  Nonetheless, this series was a positive experience that thankfully provided many awesome watches without the usual setbacks Hollywood producers place on these directors.  There was no strong need to censor any gore, allow test audiences to decide what taboo elements should be removed from final cut, and these directors were allowed to do as they please with storylines that could never survive the Hollywood atmosphere.  This series did what it could while it lasted, and below I have ranked each of the 26 films/entries according to several standards of mine: quality of work(direction), storyline(writing), and most importantly…the horror involved.  Below you will find each entry ranked from 26th(worst) to 1st(best) along with the director(“master” of horror) and his notable films that warranted his inclusion into this series.  Keep in mind though, by “Notable” films, I am not saying that they are great(although most are) but that the said films are the films that the director is most known for filming. Alright…let’s go.

26. The V Word

Director – Ernest R. Dickerson

Notable Films – Tales From the Crypt: Demon Night, Bones

This is one entry that I really tried to like but could not due to the storyline going from great to crap early on.  Right from the get-go I was hooked, but after the first act I was wishing I had popped in the Nicolas Cage-starring remake of “The Wicker Man”.  Ok, maybe this wasn’t THAT bad, but I sure was let down.  Honestly, Ernest R. Dickerson must have been one of the few directors available for the show’s time slot given in all reality he really has not done much for the genre.  Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “The V Word” – 4

25. Dance of the Dead

Director – Tobe Hooper

Notable Films – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist, Eaten Alive, The Funhouse

This being Tobe Hooper’s first entry into this series, I was afraid he still had not recovered from his recent slump in directing genius.  I tried very hard to find elements that I enjoyed about this film(Robert Englund’s blowjob scene was my favorite) and in the end was somewhat satisfied, but this was still a poor film from a very talented director.  I do not put all of the blame on Tobe Hooper for this one though, because he did a fantastic job with this film’s direction, a film that suffered from a poor script. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Dance of the Dead” – 6

24. Chocolate

Director – Mick Garris

Notable Films – Psycho IV: The Beginning, Sleepwalkers, The Stand(4 of the 6 episodes), The Shining(TV series), Riding The Bullet, Desperation

This entry surprised me, and no not the surprise when  saw that Mick Garris added himself into this series dedicated to “masters” of horror.  The film’s slow build was one I did not enjoy due to subject matter and execution, but in the end I was left with a satisfied smile that would have given this film a better rating had it not take so long to get interesting.  I can honestly say that this film has one of the more sensual and voyeuristic storylines I have seen in the genre, and that counts for something.  Right? Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Chocolate” – 6

23. The Washingtonians

Director – Peter Medak

Notable Films – The Changeling

While Peter Medak really has not made his career as a horror director, his 1980 haunted house masterpiece “The Changeling” was enough to warrant him inclusion into this series.  This flick was one of the cooler plots of any horror film I have seen because it involves a horrific twist regarding our founding father, George Washington himself.  According to this flick, he ate children and carved their bones into silverware!  Sound sweet?  Well, unfortunately the cool aspect of the plot ends there as the plot gets silly after the first act.  Instead of us getting the actual George Washington himself doing the damage, this takes place in current time and focuses on a sect of “Washingtonians’ looking to protect his righteous name.  Eh, I wanted Washington eating babies instead. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “The Washingtonians – 6

22. Dream Cruise

Director – Norio Tsuruta

Notable Films – Ringu O: Basudei, Kakashi, Yogen, Orochi

Norio Tsurata was the one director from this series that I was not familiar with.  After doing a bit of research on the guy it seems he really does have some great directing talent, but sadly this film suffers from the usual Asian horror cinema clichés.  Vengeful ghosts and supernatural occurrences have always been something that has appealed to me, but every now and then you get tired of the same old stuff and want a new element thrown in.  This flick did add a new element given it took place on a boat in the middle of the ocean(this has been done with American supernatural cinema, seldom in Asian horror cinema).  If you know me then you know I have a love for “nowhere to run” scenarios, and a boat in the middle of nowhere is a perfect example of that. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Dream Cruise” – 6

21. Valerie on the Stairs

Director – Mick Garris

Notable Films – Psycho IV: The Beginning, Sleepwalkers, The Stand(4 of the 6 episodes), The Shining(TV series), Riding The Bullet, Desperation

This film is an improvement over his first entry, “Chocolate”, and we can thank the author this storyline was adapted from, H.P. Lovecraft for that that.  I enjoyed this watch partly due to its subject matter, which should appeal to writers everywhere, but mainly because we were given cool actors Christopher Lloyd(Back to the Future flicks and Tony Todd(Candyman, Night of the Living Dead remake).  We get some cool gore at the hands of Tony Todd’s character, but that is about as awesome as this film gets. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Valerie on the Stairs” – 6

20. Dreams In The Witch House

Director – Stuart Gordon

Notable Films – Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dolls, The Pit and the Pendulum, Castle Freak, Dagon, King of the Ants

Continuing his awesome usage of H.P. Lovecraft’s ideas, he gave us the first in the series to incorporate a battered writer looking for a place to write his work.  This time it is a student, and I am sure many of you can relate to having to write big pieces that require a quiet atmosphere.  In this flick we get a sweet amount of fantasy and pagan horror that is sure to please those with an open mind to such things.  This was not amazing, but an OK watch in the end. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Dreams in the Witch House” – 6

19. Right To Die

Director – Rob Schmidt

Notable Films – Wrong Turn, The Alphabet Killer

I really have faith in Rob Schmidt that despite his mediocre film “The Alphabet Killer”, he can return to the directing excellence he portrayed in “Wrong Turn”.  This entry into the series gave us a Shaive-esque storyline tat I did find interesting and even reminiscent of Clive Barker’s “Hellraiser”.  The film is simple, and a positive watch that gets the job done in the end. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Right To Die” – 7

18. The Damned Thing

Director – Tobe Hooper

Notable Films – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist, Eaten Alive, The Funhouse

This being Tobe Hooper’s second entry into the series, I was really iffy on whether or not he would give us a positive film after a slew of mediocre works these past few years.  Thankfully, he pulled through and used his awesome direction to make the best out of a mediocre script.  We get a sweet antagonist that Texans should be proud of(Oil, yes, OIL!) and he displays the carnage to us in awesome fashion.  I really hope he continues this positive momentum into this next film, “From A Buick 8″. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “The Damned Thing” – 7

17. Sick Girl

Director – Lucky McKee

Notable Films – May, The Woods

Angela Bettis fans will be pleased with this entry given she portrays a character unlike her previous characters in films.  She is not the usual creepy girl in this flick by a shy and quirky scientist that bleeds innocence with a sense of hidden sensuality.  Turned on yet?  Yeah, and to make things even cooler those of us who enjoy biologically-inclined plots can marvel at the use of bugs and entomology in this flick.  Turned on even more?  Heh. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Sick Girl” – 7

16. Pro-Life

Director – John Carpenter

Notable Films – Halloween, Someone’s Watching Me!, The Fog, The Thing, Christine, Prince of Darkness, They Live, Body Bags(co-director), Vampires

This is John Carpenter’s second entry into the series and although it pales in comparison to his first entry, “Cigarette Burns“, this gives us one of the coolest uses of abortion in a horror film.  Usually when we get abortion in a horror film it is an Asian film regarding aborted fetuses used in some way or form, well not in the film.  This one attacks Roe vs. Wade had on and gives us a battle between both sides that in the end is fruitless.  Why fruitless?  Well, because in “Pro-Life”, both sides are doomed.  Hell(pun intended) yes! Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Pro-Life” – 7

15. Homecoming

Director – Joe Dante

Notable Films – Piranha, The Howling, Twilight Zone: The Movie(co-director), Gremlins, Gremlins 2: The New Batch

This flick is an interesting watch given it adds a strong political element to the film, told to us by none other than the undead themselves.  I am not a fan of politics in horror, but I will give respect  to af ilm that shows me something I have never seen before and this film does just that.  Dead soldiers returning from a war they do not believe in so that they can voice their opinion via voting in the Presidential Election is a plot I have yet to see, and I am sure you can agree with me on that one.  Plus, Joe Dante taking on the undead?  It is just plain awesome. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Homecoming” – 7

14. We All Scream For Ice Cream

Director – Tom Holland

Notable Films – Fright Night, Child’s Play, Thinner

This flick was a joy for me because it incorporates two of my favorite elements of horror: revenge and a killer clown.  Tom Holland turned this into the type of campy bet fairly serious type of horror he gave us with “Fright Night” and “Child’s Play”.  Example: the clown lure the victim’s children away from the home(the serious creepy part) by enticing them with an ice cream bar, an ice cream bar that when consumed turns the victim into a slop of blood and guts…just like melted ice cream.  The coolness does not stop there as we get horror vet William Forsyth as the clown himself. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “We All Scream For Ice Cream” – 7

13. Deer Woman

Director – John Landis

Notable Films – An American Werewolf in London, Schlock, Twilight Zone: The Movie(co-director), Innocent Blood

This flick shows us how well John Landis can take an absurd plot and turn it into a fun watch with just the right type of humor.  A plot like this would normally come off as a “Scary Movie” type of silly humor(which I do enjoy), but Landis is too good for that and gives us a whole hearted chucke-inducing watch that makes you think “wow, I did not think I would enjoy it this much”. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Deer Woman” – 7

12. The Screwfly Solution

Director – Joe Dante

Notable Films – Piranha, The Howling, Twilight Zone: The Movie(co-director), Gremlins, Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Joe Dante continued his subliminal commentary like he used in “Homecoming” and this time gave us not merely a political film, but one that incorporated both biology and sociology.  Biology and sociology in a horror film?  Yes, that is right, and I can honestly say that I wish we had more thought provoking and engaging storylines like this one.  Scientists, feminists, chauvinists…its all here in this film. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “The Screwfly Solution” – 7

11. Sounds Like

Director – Brad Anderson

Notable Films – Session 9, The Machinist, Transsiberian

Brad Anderson has made a name for himself in the horror realm by giving us films that are not outright horror in nature, but in the end amount to absolutely horrific horror films.  His slow yet masterful development is once again used with this film, and we are offered a plot that I can say has yet to be done in the horror realm.  Once again, this film’s plot is not horrific on the outside, but on the inside is one that would bring absolute horror to all those who put themselves in the shoes of this film’s protagonist. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Sounds Like” – 7

10. Fair Haired Child

Director – William Malone

Notable Films – House on Haunted Hill(1999 Remake), FeardotCom, Parasomnia

I have never been a big fan of William Malone, simply because even his most notable film, House on Haunted Hill, really is not that great.  Thankfully though, he showed he does have the potential to deliver a sweet horror film with this entry.  If you are a fan of creature films then this is an entry to watch.  The scenes involving the child are awesome and this flick’s twist and turns make this a very creepy and enjoyable watch.  I can honestly say that William Malone surprised me, congrats to him. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Fair Haired Child” – 7

9. Jenifer

Director – Dario Argento

Notable Films – Suspiria, Tenebre, The Bird With The Crystal Plummage, Four Flies on Grey Velvet, Phenomena, Inferno, Opera

It was a given that Dario Argento would be included in this series, and he excelled with both of his entries.  This entry gave Argento fans an interesting watch with this film’s high element of sensuality and sexual deviance.  We never got much of this from his other films(which I did not mind at all), but it was nice to see him embrace something he never touched much on.  Full of gore and nicely supplanted developments, this entry is a favorite of many fans for a very good reason. Read the full review for this film here: Masters of Horror: “Jenifer” – 7

8. Incidents on and Off of a Mountain Road

Director – Don Cascorelli

Notable Films – Phantasm, Bubba Ho-Tep, Phantasm II, Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead, Phantasm IV: Oblivion

I enjoyed this film mainly because of the survivalist aspect it takes when coming face to face with a sadistic backwoods menace of a killer.  To make this even more enjoyable was its female lead, who hated her overbearing survivalist boyfriend that vehemently forced her to learn these tactics.  Seeing her forced to use the tactics she hated so dearly(they gruelingly reminded her of him) was a nice touch, so character-wise this film is exemplary.  Oh, and did I mention this flick has a horrific ending you never see coming?   Heck yeah. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Incident on and Off of a Mountain Road” – 8

7. Pick Me Up

Director – Larry Cohen

Notable Films – It’s Alive, God Told Me To, Q: The Winged Serpent, The Stuff

If you enjoy films where the protagonists are thrown in between an antagonist vs. antagonist battle(ala “Freddy vs. Jason”) then  you should enjoy this one.  I personally feel these types of scenarios are not used often enough in the horror realm.  They get the job done, provide awesome conflict, and steal the attenion away from the weak protagonist and focus on the real stars of the film…the “bad guys”.  Heck yeah!  We get two awesome serial killers, polar opposites in killing style, who battle it out over who gets to kill the newest addition to a seedy motel in the middle of nowhere.  This is one of my favorite plots of the entire series. Read the full review for this film here: Masters of Horror: “Pick Me Up” – 8

6. Pelts

Director – Dario Argento

Notable Films – Suspiria, Tenebre, The Bird With The Crystal Plummage, Four Flies on Grey Velvet, Phenomena, Inferno, Opera

I feel this entry has been overlooked by many, especially Argento lovers who saw “Jenifer” and though Dario could not top the entry with a plot like this one.  Why?  Well, how often have you seen a film about vengeful raccoons that exact vengeance on those who kill them for their beautiful pelts(furs)?  I cannot think of a single film, and if you HAVE seen one with this plot…was it good?  Doubtful.  Dario Argento however turned this silly sounding plot into an awesome entry full of great gore, awesome apcing, and most awesomely…it stars none other than Meatloaf himself! Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Pelts” – 8

5. Haeckel’s Tale

Director – John McNaughton

Notable Films – Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, The Borrower

While he had not tackled the genre in almost two decades, director John McNaughton gave us an awesome adaptation from Clive Barker’s short story(written for the screen by Nick Garris himself) that proved to be one of the most memorable watches in this series.  Fans of undead horror will be pleased at the awesome use of these brainless “Bubs” as they…fornicate, among other things.  Leave it to Clive Barker to come up with a plotline so sensually…and utterly horrific. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Haeckel’s Tale” – 8

4. The Black Cat

Director – Stuart Gordon

Notable Films – Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dolls, The Pit and the Pendulum, Castle Freak, Dagon, King of the Ants

Stuart Gordon took a break from adapting author H.P. Lovecraft’s stories and took on another renowned horror novelist…Edgar Allen Poe.  Staying true to the source material while adding new elements to the story, such as Poe himself as the protagonist/antagonist, this flick is a treat to watch for those familiar with the story to those who have no prior knowledge whatsoever and go into this one “blind”(as I like to call it).  The film moves perfectly and is shot in awesome fashion to really make this film seem as if it were shot in 1840s Philadelphia.  Even cooler is that horror icon and Stuart Gordon buddy Jeffrey Combes portrays Poe…with the performance of his life. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “The Black Cat” – 8

3. Imprint

Director – Takashi Miike

Notable Films – Audition, Visitor Q, Gozu, One Missed Call, Three…Extremes(co-director)

The Master of Taboo(as I call him, heh) was an obvious choice for inclusion into the series because whether you like his films or not…you will never forget them.  He shows no fear with this film in giving us rape, incest, abortion, aborted fetuses, torture, and gore, all with the utmost quality of filming and direction.  I do not know how he does it, but he has a way of turning taboo into a beautiful work of art, something you would never expect to happen.  This entry gives us an awesome storyline full of great developments(some of them quite macabre) and a climax horrific in all forms possible. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Imprint” – 8

2. Family

Director – John Landis

Notable Films – An American Werewolf in London, Schlock, Twilight Zone: The Movie(co-director), Innocent Blood

This one surprised me.  I love John Landis’s work, but the storyline did not seem like one to incorporate much horror, but I was wrong.  Told in a fun aspect with enjoyable atmosphere this flick was one similar to what I mentioned earlier about Brad Anderson; not horrific at first, but genuinely horrific when the film gets into the plot.  George Wendt did a fantastic job portraying the loveable Harold Thompson, who is really only loveable on the outside.  We watch his madness displayed as nonchalantly as a retired grandmother mending her garden on a Saturday morning.  Of course, as with all great horror films…the ending is horrific and one that I never saw coming. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Family” – 9

1. Cigarette Burns

Director – John Carpenter

Notable Films – Halloween, The Fog, The Thing, Christine, Prince of Darkness, They Live, Body Bags(co-director), In The Mouth of Madness, Village of the Damned, Vampires

Yes, THIS is hands down the best entry into the “Masters of Horror” series, and from a true master of horror.  This film wowed me with how captivating its storyline was, a storyline involving a film only shown once because it incited mad violence from the film’s one and only audience.  If you are a fan of film, as most of us horror fans are, then this is one that should interest you as much as it interested me.  The storyline moved perfectly thanks to great dialogue/writing, and an amazing performance from the ever-awesome Udo Kier.  John Carpenter’s direction is phenomenal, and he hit’s the viewer hard with his gore soaked ending sequence that reigns thanks to the extremely horrific nature behind the mayhem. Read the full review for this entry here: Masters of Horror: “Cigarette Burns” – 9

Fun Stats:

- Dario Argento is the only director with both of his films in the top 10.

- The top three directors according to entry ranking are Dario Argento(5th & 9th, total of 14), then John Landis(2nd and 13th, total of 15), and John Carpenter(1st and 16th, total of 17).  In the end though, John Carpenter had the best entry.

- Due to scheduling, some very big “MASTERS” of horror were not able to contribute entries into this series. They are:
George A. Romero:Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, Creepshow, Martin, The Crazies, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, Survival of the Dead
Sam Raimi: Evil Dead, Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn, Army of Darkness, Drag Me To Hell, The Gift
David Cronenberg: The Fly, Videodrome, The Dead Zone, Scanners, Shivers, Rabid, Dead Ringers, eXistenZ.

Director – John Carpenter

Cast – Ron Perlman, Mark Feuerstein, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Bill Dow, Chad Krowchuk, Graeme McComb, Benjamin Rogers, Caitlin Wachs, Biski Gugushe, Jeremy Jones

Release Year – 2006

Reviewed by John of the Dead

This film has one of the cooler plots I have seen regarding abortion.  Most of the time the only abortion oriented films we get come from Hong Kong or Japan and have to do with aborted fetuses being used in a variety of ways.  Well, that is not the case with this film.  Pro-Life may be one of the only film ever to attack the Roe vs. Wade dilemma…with a nice twist of horror.  Given to us by one of horror’s greatest directors ever, John Carpenter, this was an interesting and simple watch that tackles a rare subject in the horror genre.

Pro-Life follows a group of abortion doctors and nurses who run into a pregnant 15 year old stumbling along the side of a rural road.  Upon bringing her to the hospital they learn her identity, much to their horror.  This is no ordinary girl, but Angelique Burcell, the daughter of an adamant anti-abortion activist whom the abortion center has a restraining order against.  When her father shows up to retrieve his daughter he is not let in by security, even though by law she is under the legal age to have an abortion without parental consent.  Her father, Dwayne Burcell(the always awesome Ron Perlman), is not happy with this, and will not be stopped.  Along with his three sons he leads an armed onslaught against the abortion center with the mindset of protecting his daughter’s unborn child…at all costs.  Unfortunately for the abortion doctors(and Mur. Burcell), her child was not fathered by a human man.  The father of her baby is also known in The Bible as “The Father of Lies”, and will release an onslaught of his own to keep his baby alive.

I really enjoyed this film’s plot.  Aside from what I mentioned earlier about this having a unique take on the abortion element, this gave us some nice conflict thanks to its religious elements.  There is just something about religious elements in films that always interests me, especially when involving demons/Satan.  In this film we are able to pick sides between the Burcells who believe they have the authority to supersede the clinic because the girl is underage, and the doctors who feel it is their obligation to ensure the girl’s safety.  Regardless of who you choose, both parties are in for a big surprise.  The Burcells have not realized that is it not God who gave Angelique the precious child they are trying to save, but Satan himself who fathered her child and has manipulated them into ensuring his child’s safety against the doctors.  In the case of the abortion doctors, I enjoyed their conflict as well given they have an even more formidable foe standing in their way.  They should not be fearing Mr. Burcell, but the “Father of Lies” that basically hired them to protect his child.  Heh.  Regardless, whoever you root for his screwed, and I enjoyed that a lot.

Aside from the sweet conflict the story is pretty simple and moves accordingly with a simple story.  In other words, the story takes its time to develop, meaning not a whole lot actually happens throughout the film.  Much like the TV series “24”, this hour long flick takes up and an hour of real runtime.  Some may like this, others may not and feel that it tends to drag and elongate scenes a bit.  Personally, I lean towards the latter and feel that this one did tend to take a little too much time with what was going on.  That is the biggest reason behind this film achieving only a 6-rating.  It is a bit too simple in story and direction to warrant anything more.

Speaking of direction, John Carpenter did an OK job with this one.  I was not overly impressed with his direction during the first half of the film, but once the second half kicked in he gave me what I had been waiting for.  He laid the gore on thick and did a fine job putting on-screen one of the most horrible kills imaginable, giving an abortion to the head abortion doctor…a male.  How do you do that if a man does not have a vagina?  Easy, you do what Mr. Burcell did…make one.  The rest of that procedure was carried out as if it were the real thing, vacuum and all.  Yeah…wow.  My favorite aspect of Carpenter’s direction was his live action use of Satan and the scene development of Satan’s appearance during the third act.  That again, was a “wow” moment.  It was quite possibly the freakiest looking Satan I had/have ever seen, and I liked that.

Overall, this was an OK entry by one of horror’s best directors.  We get a nice plot that although consists of some nice elements not before seen in the horror genre, it is a bit slow and takes its time.  I recommend this to all fans of the horror genre and those who would like to see an interesting take on the Roe vs. Wade dilemma.

Rating: 7/10

- I ranked this film #16 out of the 26 entries in my Ranking the “Masters of Horror” Entries post.

Who says there are not good horror films anymore?  This decade(2000-2009) produced some of the best horror films of all time, and many other memorable ones sure to become classics someday.  The notion that there are no good horror films anymore lies in fault due to Hollywood passing over many of these films in favor of lesser quality flicks that only aim to make money and appease the moronic general public.  Be it as it may, these films are getting the recognition they deserve in this blog.  It’s the least I could do.  Now here I gave you numbers 25 through 1…

25. Frontier(s)

- Frontier(s) is one of my most enjoyed horror films of all time, and surprised me with how great it is given it came out with the mediocre After Dark Horrorfest films.  This French masterpiece comes off as their version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but with elements of Hostel and positive usage of Nazis.  Director Xavier Gens has gone on to make a career off his success of this film, and rightfully so.  We get great gore, tension, and some of the best crafted horror scenes I’ve seen in a while.  Read my full review for this film here: Frontier(s)

24. Pan’s Labyrinth

- Guillermo del Toro followed The Devil’s Backbone by giving us another beautifully shot and well told story, Pan’s Labyrinth.  Showing his love for fantasy, del Toro’s story is more fantasy than horror in following a young girl transferring between her fantastical world and her normal life, but the horror in this film is superbly executed and displays his genius in creating engaging tension.  The “sister” film to The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth is one of the best overall films on this list, only held back by its low level of horror compared to the higher entries on this list.

23. Versus

- Before Ryuhei Kitamura(Alive) gave us the Clive Barker adaptation, The Midnight Meat Train, he gave us one of the coolest flicks I have ever seen in Versus.  Taking place in a forest where the dead cannot stay dead, Versus gives us a blending of two elements/sub-genres that I have never seen blended before…zombies and samurais.  Fast-paced and consisting of non-stop action, Kiramura delivers awesome gore, zany antics, and positive zombie and samurai action resulting in a unique experience that I have yet to see matched by anyone else.  Read my full review for this film here: Versus

22. The Ring

- The one that started in all when it comes to remakes of Asian horror films, The Ring is another remake on this list(along with The Hills Have Eyes remake) that is just as good or surpasses the original film(Ringu).  With one of horror’s scariest opening sequences and a chilling plot about a video tape that kills those who view it exactly seven days later, The Ring is an engaging and creepy watch thanks to Gore Verbinsky’s direction and gloomy atmosphere sure to scare the hell out of you.  Read my full review for this film here: The Ring

21. The Devil’s Backbone

- Guillermo del Toro gave us his “baby”, The Devil’s Backbone, at the beginning of the decade, and although this doesn’t give much in term of scares, it’s a great story sure to keep even the most ADD-ridden viewers glued to the screen.  The “brother” film to Pan’s Labyrinth, del Toro delivers his ever-awesome direction resulting in a great film accomplished with very little.  If you like ghost stories, this well-written sad revenge tale is an epic one. Read my full review for this film here: The Devil’s Backbone

20. Hellboy

- Continuing his stranglehold of horror last decade, Guillermo del Toro finally delivered filmgoers a superhero with a horror influence in his adaptation of the wildly popular Hellboy comic series.  A superhero born from evil, Hellboy battles the remaining counterparts of Hitler’s SS cult half a century after their defeat in WWII, and with horrific and awesome results.  Del Toro brings us lots of action and striking visuals in this watch, and an iconic performance from Ron Perlman(Hellboy II: The Golden Army, I Sell The Dead) leaves Hellboy one of horror’s few “good guys”, with a heavy side of ass-kicking abilities.  Read my full review for this film here: Hellboy

19.

- REC 2 took off right where its incredible predecessor left off, and continued the insane horror delivered in the first entry but at a much faster pace.  Running at a smooth 80 minutes, REC 2 blasts off quick and never relents as we are bombarded with constant infected action as well as new eerie developments leaning towards the supernatural realm, an idea that made this one of the more unique infected films out there.  The film is simple in nature, but the horror hits hard, and is a complimenting predecessor to the incredible REC.  Read my full review for this film here: REC 2

18. Hatchet

- Adam Green(Hatchet II, Frozen, Spiral)’s homeage to old school American horror delivered to us one of the decade’s greatest horror films…and one of the greatest killers the genre has ever seen in Victor Crowley(Kane Hodder; Friday the 13th VII, VIII, IV, X).  Filled with copious amounts of live-action gore and the zaniest kills possible, Hatchet delivers that campy 80s horror feel with modern day technology and the charm of an auteur respectful to the films he grew up adoring.  Good laughs, amazing kills, and Victory Crowley make Hatchet not only one of the best, but one of the most fun and enjoyable horror films of the decade.  Read my full review for this film here: Hatchet

17. Planet Terror

- It is obvious that Texan director Robert Rodriguez has a love for the splatterfest horror flicks he grew up watching, and I applaud him for keeping such films alive by giving us his own cheezy horror films.  From Dusk Till Dawn was excellent, The Faculty was a cool watch, and Rob Rod turned up the splatter meter with his most recent horror effort, Planet Terror.  In Rob Rod’s take on the zombie sub-genre we are given an awesome story that comes with high levels of “pulp” and a successful “grindhouse” feel thanks to his fantastic direction.  This fun and gory no-brainer was an excellent shout-out to horror fans, and along with kickass performances from Bruce Willis, Freddy Rodriguez, and Quentin Tarantino, gave us amazing zombie action as well.   Read my full review for this film here: Planet Terror

16. Them(Ils)

- Not nearly as well known as other French horror films such as Inside, Martyrs, High Tension, and Frontier(s), Them is an amazingly well-executed horror masterpiece that does much with very little.  Relying heavily on atmosphere instead of cheap gimmicks, this breakout film from directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud gives the viewer a taste of true horror that will leave you debating whether you and your significant other can ever be safe at night.  Why?  Because in this simple yet well-written/executed story ripped off two years later by The Strangers, home-sweet-home is the last place you want to be. Read my full review of this film here: Them(Ils)

15. Trick ‘r Treat

- Trick ‘r Treat came out of nowhere after sitting on the shelf for way too long(two years), and despite it’s non-theater release it proved to be one of the best horror experiences of 2009.  Written and directed by Michael Dougherty(writer; X2, Superman Returns) and produced by Brian Singer(X-Men, X2, Superman Returns) this film was an outright shout-out to horror fans with its numerous references to the genres most popular sub-genres.  The storied anthology was beautifully crafted and meshed together perfectly, blending different forms of horror into one cohesive story.  Werewolves, vengeful spirits, monsters, and a serial killer adorn the screen in this superb debut directing effort from Michael Doherty.  Read my full review for this film here: Trick ‘r Treat

14. The Orphanage

- This Guillermo del Toro(The Devil’s Backbone, Pan’s Labyrinth) produced Spanish horror flick is in my opinion the best supernatural horror film of this decade.  The Orphanage is a well told story of the never-ending love for a child, and despite being a beautiful film it manages to throw in some creepy moments as well, coming perfectly executed by first-time feature film director Juan Antonio Bayona. The story takes its time, and a well crafted screenplay from first-time feature film writer Sergio G. Sanchez proves that you do not need a strong resume to deliver a fantastic horror film, just creativity and maybe a little bit of del Toro’s influence.  Read my full review on this film here: The Orphanage

13. 28 Weeks Later

- In the horror scene we usually denounce sequels of great films normally because the sequel ruins the franchise, but not in this case.  28 Weeks Later takes off at amazing speed and never relents as we get massive infected carnage and are introduced to more elements than 28 Days Later gave us.  Juan Carlos Fresnadillo delivers a well-shot experience that comes with numerous engaging elements that thanks to great atmosphere and execution keep the viewer engaged from the get-go.  Read my full review for this film here: 28 Weeks Later

12. Inside

- The French have a stranglehold on making shocking horror films, and Inside is one of their most shocking and awesome films to date.  Coming off as a French FEMALE Halloween, this insane slasher film gives us something we don’t get too often in the horror genre, woman vs. woman.  Female antagonists are rare, so it makes this film all the more memorable watching a woman exhibit crazy acts of violence in her attempt to forcefully take the unborn child of another woman.  Finally, a horror film that women can delve into, with the utmost amount of gore to please us men as well.  Read my full review for this film here: Inside

11. Martyrs

- I do not think any film freaked me out the last few years more than Martyrs did.  This French sophomore film from writer/director Pascal Laugier comes with an interesting storyline because in a sense…it has TWO plots.  The first half of the film plays much like a gruesome horror film, and the second half comes out of nowhere and adds some very interesting elements to the plot, while upping the gore and brutality.  The second half not only threw me for a satisfying loop but was hard to watch as well due to what it consisted of, but when the climax hits realize it was all necessary, which says a lot given most films with lots of shock-value do it simply to shock, not with an underlying reason like Martyrs did.  Read my full review for this film here: Martyrs

10. The Mist

- After his very successful bouts with Stephen King adaptations The Green Mile and The Shawshank Redemption, director Frank Darabont upped the horror and gave us another Stephen King adaptation…The Mist.  This story brings the “afraid of what’s in the dark” mentality to us by making it so that what is in the mist is what is scary, and the fact that the mist is lethal in the daytime as well as the nighttime kicks the “afraid of what’s in the dark” notion in the ass.  The horror is expanded when we watch the social breakdown of the townsfolk stuck in the local market store.  Sides are picked, and thanks to an amazing performance by Marcia Gay Harden, it is easy to pick what side you are on(none of that Team Edward/Jacob nonsense).  But wait, there is more.  As if The Mist could not get anymore awesome, we are given one of horror’s most horrific endings ever.  Read my full review for this film here: The Mist

9. Shaun of the Dead

- Shaun of the Dead came out of nowhere in 2004 and shocked the horror scene with its numerous hilarious shout-outs to the zombie sub-genre.  Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright solidified themselves as horror geniuses with their witty humor and use of the all too important zombie elements: slow moving zombies, gore, and plenty of head-shots.  It is awesome to see great genre films make it and have good success in the public realm, showing the mass audience how good horror films are done.  Read my full review for this film here: Shaun of the Dead

8. Drag Me To Hell

- The biggest news in the horror realm last decade was not Jackie Earl Haley as the new “Freddy”, or even Robert Rodriguez being attached to the Predators remake/sequel, it was horror legend Sam Raimi(Evil Dead trilogy) finally returning to the genre after the success of his billion dollar Spiderman trilogy.  “The King of Demons” did what he does best and gave us a demon-filled ride full of just the right amount of slapstick and gross-out humor centering on a young woman suffering a gypsy curse in which she will be dragged to hell in three days.  Relying heavily on his trademark “what you DON’T see” scare tactics, true horror returned to the genre this year, from a true horror legend.  Read my full review for this film here: Drag Me To Hell

7. Feast

- Boy oh boy oh boy, if you know me then  you know I absolutely LOVE this film.  Feast gives us everything the great horror flicks of the 70s and 80s gave us, but with a modern look and unique direction from first-timer John Gulager.  This gory thrill ride is filled with awesome scares, great creatures, humorous dialogue, and lots and lots of that all-too-important element of horror…gore!  The only success of Damon/Affleck’s “Project Greenlight’, Feast takes off fast and it moves fast without letting up for more than a few minutes at a time.  Writers Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton toy with the viewers in that just when you think you have a hero to root for, THINK AGAIN.  The character play in this simple but well-written story about about bar patrons trying to survive a slew of bloodthirsty creatures outside their walls is amazing and speaking of characters, we get none other than Henry f*ckin Rollins in this one.  Feast is nearly flawless and should be a template and/or litmus test for future horror films.  Read my full review for this film here: Feast

6. Saw

- No since David Fincher’s 1995 masterpiece, Seven, had we seen a film horrifically employ a moral message into its story until Saw debuted.  Written by Leigh Whannell(a “nobody” at the time) and directed by James Wan(also a “nobody” at the time), Saw showed us that can make a highly effective horror film with a low budget as long as you execute it properly, and these guys did just that.  Throwing the moral complex into a film in ways Seven did not, the Jigsaws killer did not kill his victims himself, but allowed them to decide the cost of their life and whether or not it is worth living.  This film makes this No. 6 entry because of it’s sheer impact on the horror genre, and a new blend of horror we had yet to see.  Six sequels later and always potential for more in the works, it seems Mr. Whannell and Mr. Wan have created a monster.  Read my full review for this film here: Saw

5. The Descent

- UK director Neil Marshall(Dog Soldiers) defied “creature survival” odds with this film by casting nothing but women as the main protagonists forced to fight off against a slew of bloodthirsty creatures after finding themselves trapped in an unmapped cave system.  Without the macho strength of a male to save the day, these women were forced to toughen up and carry out unspeakably gory acts usually reserved for the men in horror films.  Just when you thought the “creature feature” horror sub-genre was dead, The Descent showed that the right director, writer, and producer can still put out great horror.  Read my full review for this film here: The Descent

4. Battle Royale

- Now I understand Battle Royale is not an outright horror film, but its plot is so utterly horrific it gets an inclusion into the horror genre.  Now…are you ready for this?  This Japanese film based on a popular graphic novel centers on an era in Japan where the youth have become so corrupt that every year an 8th grade class is sent to a secluded island in which only one student shall return.  How does that work?  Simple, the children must kill each other off and until only one is left standing.  Leave it to the Japanese to have the cojones to make a film like this, and execute it so perfectly.  To make matters even more awesome, the story covers its bases in that if a student decides he/she will just hide and wait till everyone else is dead….they are shit out of luck.  Each student wears an explosive collar around their neck, a collar that will detonate if they stay in a single area for too long.  With superb execution from director Kinji Fukasaku, Battle Royale is an experience you will never forget, whether you like it or not.

3. 28 Days Later

- Before he was accepting Oscar awards for Best Director and Best Picture, Danny Boyle revamped the infected scene and single-handedly brought the famous 70s/80s horror sub-genre back to life.  While not the first to do so, he brilliantly incorporated advanced motor skills(aka “fast running”) to the infected and gave us a film not only horrific but his amazing direction made it beautiful to watch as well.  Imagine this: You wake up in a defunct hospital, with no recollection of why or how long you have been there.  You walk the disheveled hallways and see no sign of human life.  You make your way outside to the typically booming city of London and find it completely deserted, with “missing” posters everywhere.  Scared yet?  Thank screenwriter Alex Garland(Sunshine), for one of the scariest scenarios imaginable.  Read my full review for this film here: 28 Days Later

2. Let The Right One In

- As far as technical aspects go, THIS is the best horror film of the decade.  So why is this Swedish gem No. 2 and not No. 1?  Simply because it is the 2nd best “horror” film of the decade.  Make sense?  Based on the novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist and written for the screen by Lindqvist himself, Let The Right One In embodies the true horrors of real love and lets two young pre-teens teach us lessons beyond our adult capacity.  Beautiful cinematography and amazing character performances leave the viewer mesmerized at the amazing film experience they just endured, with an ending so beautiful, yet so direly horrific it will persist in your mind for weeks to come.  The only thing maybe scarier than zombies, werewolves, the “infected”, monsters, serial killers, and vampires is…love.   Read my full review for this film here: Let The Right One In

1. REC

- Yes, this is the greatest horror film of the decade.  This Spanish “infected” film came out of nowhere in 2007 and showed the world that the outlasted POV filming style can be used with effective consequences if it comes with great execution, and writers/directors Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza made sure of that.  The “nowhere to run” atmosphere provides the perfect setting to erect(haha…”erect”…) true horror and supreme scares in an era where Hollywood scare gimmicks have soiled the horror realm.  REC moves remarkably well thanks to its story following a TV journalist tailing firefighters to an apartment building in which horrific events take place as a result of an infection is full of thrills, great scares, and an element we have yet to see in the “infected” horror sub-genre…demon possession.  The aspect of demon possession only makes this experience all the more interesting, and its truly frightening conclusion is one of the best horror final sequences I have EVER seen.  Read my full review for this film here: REC

Before January 15th 2011 this series of posts contained the Top 50 Horror Movies of the Decade, it is now the Top 100 Horror Movies of the Decade.

Thanks for reading.

The Rest of the Top 100 Horror Movies of the Decade

- Top 100 Horror Movies of the Decade(26-50)

- Top 100 Horror Movies of the Decade(51-75)

- Top 100 Horror Movies of the Decade(76-100)

- Top 100 Horror Movies of the Decade(Honorable Mentions)