John of the Dead's Horror Flick Reviews

Director – Nathan Hynes, Chris Power

Cast – Anthony Alviano, Jean-Marc Fontaine, Paul Fowles, Shane Harbinson, Roger King, Kelly McIntosh

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Long Pigs is a film that I only heard of recently despite it being released at film festivals and winning numerous awards since its debut in 2007. It could be that I just do not pay enough attention to “news” in the horror community (I’m more concerned with discovering older than newer horror flicks) or just that this low-budget effort did not receive love outside of the awards it won, and I think the latter is the case here. Shot the popularized documentary fashion, Long Pigs gives us a very realistic take on a brutal serial killer and leaves very little off camera, providing a pretty engaging and quite frightening experience that was better than I expected.

Two young “aspiring” filmmakers come across the ultimate documentary subject, 33 year old Anthony McAllister. What makes Anthony such an interesting subject to them? Anthony is a cannibal. He agrees to let them record his every move in documenting his violent lifestyle, which not only opens the filmmakers up to new philosophies of life but also the horrors that result from their desire for fame.

Despite them being a modern day fad I do have a personal love for pseudo-documentary horror films. I find them unique and something “different” for the time being, and if they are executed well enough then they allow the viewers to envelop themselves into the film and make for a very realistic experience. Long Pigs has to be one of the most realistic of horror mockumentaries, and while I place that more on direction than story, this storyline came well-written despite some faults. The flick takes off with the young filmmakers coming across Anthony and learning of his evil ways, and they quickly put their morals aside in hopes of making money off a documentary about this cannibal. Initially they are horrified at the acts that he commits, acts that they film with metaphorical “front row seats”, and despite the brutality of what they are viewing then can only think of the success they will find as a result of it. Eventually the film takes a turn where the filmmakers are becoming monsters themselves in their search for fame, and while they do not stoop to Anthony’s level of cannibalism they do exploit others negatively affected by Anthony’s actions, a despicable act that was portrayed very well in this piece. I could go more into detail, but this is one of those experiences viewed best with only enough information to know what it is about so I will leave you at that regarding the story.

The film’s directors did the biggest job in selling this film to the viewer, which despite an obviously low budget managed to provide some really good horror thanks to incredible practical FX. Early on in the film we witness Anthony carving up a prostitute he just killed, and the filmmakers filmed this section in a very full-frontal manner that honestly looked as real as could be. I will not say that this film is going after shock value because the scene was actually filmed in a very positive and effective manner, showing the subtle Anthony as the true monster he really is on the inside. The acting performances were also very engaging and did not come off as acting at all, another element of direction that surprised me given the film’s low budget and the filmmakers lack of filmmaking experience. There were times that I felt the film took a bit to long to bring the horror at times, and while this could lie in fault of the writing I do believe the directors could have done more to keep me engaged, but nonetheless this was an effective watch that I can appreciate and will not soon forget.

Overall, Long Pigs is not just a technical marvel, but a good horror film that makes for one of the better pseudo-documentary films I have seen. The horror is full-frontal and slow-burning at times, giving us an emotionally and visually haunting experience.

Rating: 8/10

Director – Gary Yates

Cast – James Van Der Beek, Alexandra Castillo, Arne MacPherson, Ryan Rajendra Black, Bryan Edward Roach, Erik Fjeldsted, Stephen Eric McIntyre, Larissa Tobacco, Kyra Harper, Kelly Wolfman

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I normally stay far far away from TV films made for the Syfy channel, and for obvious reasons that need no explanation, but I’ll give you the biggest reason why: they suck. Well, after reading many good reviews and constantly hearing “it’s really not that bad, it deserves a higher rating!” I decided to give this Syfy movie a watch, and while it really was not “that bad” it still fell to the usual hijinks of such movies, and is far from the experience such reviews made it out to be.

That James Van Der Beek guy from those weird-feeling teen shows/movies like “Dawson’s Creek” and Varsity Blues stars as Dan Leland, a scientist employed by NORA sent to a small fishing community to investigate their depleted fish density. Soon after he arrives the community suffers mysterious deaths that lead him to believe a giant freshwater squid is feeding within their large lake, and despite NORA and the townsfolk finding his claims ludicrous they will soon learn how right he is.

The story takes off right away, giving us killer squid action from the get-go, and it was that opening scene that let me know exactly what I was getting into: a cool story with decent direction and HORRIBLE CGI FX. This tends to happen with most of the low-budget Syfy films that plague the TV screen, but I will admit that in the case of Eye of the Beast it is not THAT bad, which I’ve said before and will most likely say again. I enjoyed the storyline as we follow Leland doing his research, research that is not welcomed by the local fishermen who rely on their “catch” for their living. Leland is supposed to help them, but they view him as someone willing to shut down the fishery if he finds something he does not like. Also thrown into the mix is Fisheries Officer Katrina Tomas, a half anglo / half Native American who believes she saw a giant squid consume her father when she was a child. There is a good amount of conflict provided between Leland, Tomas, and the local fishermen (aided by their wives), with lots of deceit and flaring tempers inhibiting Leland from doing his job. I was surprised to see this given must Syfy films just follow the basics and rarely add much more to the story than what is necessary, but writer Mark Mullin seems to have made the most of this simple storyline. What I also loved about the story is the numerous deaths provided by the squid. We see both good and bad people die, with the good people providing an emotional impact on the viewer that I also did not expect to see in such a film. Bravo to you, Mark Mullin.

Director Gary Yates also seemed to have made the most of the deal he was given, giving us good execution of the actors, conflict, and the horror. The acting performances were much better than what is usually provided by these films, and his execution of the conflict was aided by their performances. So how was the horror? Well, everything but the FX was very well done. The actors also helped sell the fear provided by the squid, and Yates’ camerawork and non-squid FX provided good tension. The only huge detriment from the film was the squid itself, which came with laughable FX that pretty much kept this piece from achieving anything other than a mediocre rating at best. There were a few scenes where we saw some live-action FX, but they were mere closeups of the tentacles grabbing someone and lasted mere seconds. It really is too bad that the film suffered from a poor budget, because for once it seems we were given positive actors and good filmmakers for once in a Syfy effort.

Overall, while Eye of the Beast is a better watch than most Syfy crap, it still suffers from insanely poor CGI that despite best efforts from its writer, director, and actors, still made for an experience I cannot recommend outrightly, but maybe one you can check out on a boring night, maybe…

Rating: 5/10

Director – Victor Cook, Tad Stones

Cast – Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, John Hurt, Doug Jones, Peri Gilpin, Jim Cummings, J. Grant Albrecht, James Arnold Taylor

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

The animated Hellboy series continues after Sword of Storms with Blood and Iron, an equally enjoyable piece that once again gives us Hellboy & co. kicking supernatural ass in animated fashion.

We follow the crew as they investigate a large mansion purchased by a friend of the senator who funds the paranormal ass-kicking force. The mansion holds much significance to Professor Broom, who in 1939 defeated the powerful female vampire Erzsebet Ondrushko at that very mansion, and he joins the crew to ensure the the mansion is still safe. When it becomes apparent that someone is trying to bring Erzsebet back from the dead, Hellboy & co. aid the professor in finishing unsettled business after over half a century of waiting.

I really enjoyed this storyline, adapted by Kevin Hopps from Mike Mignola and Tad Stones’ story, thanks to it involving Professor Broom to a much higher level than usual. Told in the past and present time we follow Broom as he fought to vanquish a woman who believed that bathing in the blood of young beautiful women would keep her young. Of course, this dilemma was ultimately left unsettled and Broom saw the need to investigate the mansion before the senator’s friend turned it into a ghost-themed hotel. I loved watching the storyline develop with constant flashbacks to the events that Dr. Broom saw occur at the mansion, events that are now occurring all over again. Each of our characters was used positively, especially our main characters in Hellboy, Professor Broom, Liz Sherman, Abe Sapien, and newcomer Oliver Trombolt. There is plenty of action written into this piece, which I assumed would be so, and it was great in giving us numerous antagonistic character for Hellboy and his troops to destroy, including: ghosts, wolves, witches, harpies, a giant werewolf, and Erzsebet herself in several different forms. In addition to this Kevin Hopps defied cliches often associated with animated films and gave us fantastic dialogue that aiding in presenting and developing the characters so positively.

Directors Victor Cook and Tad Stones did a great job with this one, giving us awesome visuals, great sets, and the usual enjoyable elements associated with these Hellboy films. The vocal acting performances are great, and much like Sword of Storms Hellboy, Liz, Abe, and Prof. Broom are voiced by the same actors who portrayed them in the Hellboy live-action flicks, making this piece all the more enjoyable for that reason. And the action? The action was fantastic and consisted of awesome looking antagonists and plenty of brutal confrontation in this epic battle between good and evil.

Overall, Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron is an awesome animated flick sure to please fans of the Hellboy series thanks to it giving us all of the same sweet elements found in the live-action films.

Rating: 8/10

Director – Oxide Pang Chun, Danny Pang

Cast – Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, John Corbett, Evan Turner,
Theodore Turner, William B. Davis

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I remember being pretty stoked when I first saw a trailer for The Messengers back in 2007 due to it being directed by The Pang Brothers, whose film The Eye is one of my all-time favorites, and produced by Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Productions.  Supernatural films have always interested me, and taking place in a rural farm environment usually provides nice creepy atmosphere, but despite those positive elements the film never amounted to what it could have been.

When Roy Solomon(Dylan McDermott; Hardware, “American Horror Story”) moves his family to a rural farm he just purchased he does so in hopes of finding financial success again through harvesting sunflowers.  All is well at the quiet farmhouse until his daughter, Jess (Kristen Stewart; Twatlight) begins seeing weird phenomena around the home stemming from dark events that took place years prior.

Sounds like a storyline you’ve come across dozens of times right?  The Messengers, written by Mark Wheaton, brings nothing new to the table despite my usual enjoyment of films that employ characters moving into a new home carrying a dark past.  Setting the story at a rural farmhouse has positive given it isolates our protagonists from any nearby help, and the old creepy house made for some good atmosphere to aid in the film’s few decent scares.  Wheaton’s story suffers as soon as it begins, giving us the usual cliches that we see in this films and furthering the nonsense with a “twist” that I saw coming miles away with little common sense.  The character play is where the majority of the nonsense occurs, with the usual doubting of Jess’ sufferings by Roy and Denise(Penelope Ann Miller; The Relic) and the inclusion of a passer-by, Burwell(John Corbett), whose purpose was known the second he appeared on screen.  So how is the horror?  Well the scares written into the film are nothing new, however I fell they were written to appease the film’s popular directors…The Pang Brothers.

The Pangs were so-so in this film, giving us fantastic atmosphere and great sets that set the stage for some good horror to present itself, but the horror was hit-and-miss throughout this 90 minute effort.  This being a supernatural film we are given plenty of ghost action, and it comes in the usual execution we see in Asian supernatural films – ghosts with very choppy mannerisms.  Some will find this cliche, as I did, and in addition to that the scenes were not very scary as well.  The acting performances were also mediocre, with none of our actors – Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller - delivering a performance that I haven’t seen before, adding more the cliched experience this film provided.  While I love the Pang Brothers and still find them relevant in the horror genre, The Messengers, their first American effort, may be a  hint that they should stick to the Asian films they have had great success with.

Overall, The Messengers is a muddled experience full of the usual cliches found in supernatural horror films with Hollywood’s blessing – so bad that even the Pang Brothers could not save this one.

Rating: 5/10

Director – Rob Zombie

Cast – Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon Zombie, William Forsythe, Danielle Harris, Kristina Klebe, Skyler Gisondo, Danny Trejo, Hanna Hall, Tom Towles, Bill Mosely

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I remember being so very angry when this film first hit theaters back in 2007. We had been given remakes before this flick, but this was the first to be of a film I really enjoyed, a pinnacle of the infamous slasher sub-genre, and I was left fuming that such a classic would be remade by a man I did not fully respect. Nonetheless I would up seeing this effort back then and remembered liking it for the most part, and after viewing it for the first time since that day I can say that this remake is enjoyable enough to please fans of the original and those looking for brutal horror given by an awesome killer.

Much like the original film, Michael Myers, after suffering 17 years of incarceration in a mental hospital due to the murders he committed at age 10, breaks out of the institution and heads to the origin of the evil that he is…Haddonfield, Illinois. As his personal psychiatrist Dr. Samuel Loomis, theonly man who truly knows the evil that Michael is, vehemently tries to track him down and stop his bloody reign of terror, Michael finally reaches his target: his younger sister Laurie Strode – sparking an epic battle against evil unlike any the small town of Haddonfield has seen in 17 years.

Well, I can say that Rob Zombie did not completely screw this film out like he did with his redo of Halloween II. At the time that this film had debuted I was not sold on the guy despite the fact that I really did like The Devil’s Rejects. Zombie has always bothered me as a writer, and it is usually the writing that plagues his films. His writing was not so bad in this flick, but it is definitely where most of the faults lie.

The overall storyline is roughly the same, as you can tell by the plot summary, but there are many things added to this film that were not in the original. In a sense, this is almost like Rob Zombie’s own take of the Michael Myers story and not so much a remake of Carpenter’s classic. For starters, we are given a lot of information regarding the origin of Michael’s evil. In the original we are given very little regarding his origin and I absolutely loved that because it made Michael so very creepy. The mystery behind him aided everything that he did, and that fun element was lost in this film. We learn why Michael does what he does, and that really bothered me at first. Over time I have learned to look past it and see this pretty much as Zombie’s own version of the story, but he definitely missed out on giving Michael every creepy advantage there is by delving into his past. Aside from that the rest of the original elements and new scenes thrown into the film were enjoyable, and as expected Zombie wrote in plenty of awesome kills that were quite brutal in fashion, especially those involving Michael as a child. There were times when some of the scenes towards the end felt a bit long, which toyed with the pacing a bit in negative fashion, but overall Zombie’s writing was good enough to make for a fun storyline that kept me engaged thanks to the awesomeness that is Michael Myers and the horror he brings with him.

As usual, Zombie’s direction brought on good horror, and this time with a newly crowned genre actor sure to make waves in the future – that man is Tyler Mane. I was very much in shock at how utterly awesome Tyler Mane was as Michael Myers, which at the same time I felt was a darn shame given Mane would have received much more praise for his acting abilities if he came to us via a new and original character and not as a rehash of an iconic one. While Mane’s mannerisms and kill sequences were fantastic, I did not like the new physical appearance of Michael Myers. For one, part of Michael’s creepiness for me was he was an above average height man but short enough to blend into society, not a 6’9” behemoth like Tyler Mane. While we all see giant brooding killers as scary, I honestly felt that Michael should have stayed roughly the same height and leave the big broodiness for Jason Vorhees instead. Zombie’s execution of the horror was great, giving us numerous full-frontal kill sequences that took their time in developing and consisted of some pretty harsh material that this Unrated version was forced to leave out of the theatrical release. The gore is heavy and the kills are brutal, which along with Zombie’s dark rustic atmosphere made for a very dark and psychologically tormenting horror experience that turned out better than I had expected.

Overall, Rob Zombie’s remake of Halloween is an enjoyable flick for those who give it the chance and not shoo it away for being a redo of one of horror’s pinnacle films, and a darn brutal one as well. There are faults that keep this far from the excellence of Carpenter’s classic, but in the end the kills were insane, the atmosphere positive, and Tyler Mane solidified himself as a man who deserves a slasher flick of his own.

Rating: 7/10

Director – Shion Sono

Cast – Chiaki Kuriyama, Megumi Satô, Tsugumi, Eri Machimoto, Miku Satô, Yûna Natsuo, Ken Mitsuishi, Hiroshi Yamamoto, Tetsushi Tanaka

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

I remember coming across word of this piece on UpcomingHorrorMovies years ago, and immediately thought to myself, “with a story like this, it is either going be really stupid, or really awesome”, and for the most part it was the latter. From the mind behind the famed Suicide Club, Exte: Hair Extensions is a cool and unique horror film that gives us an antagonist never before used in the genre, and thanks to good direction also provides positive horror that I expected but was still surprised to see.

A mortician exploits a female victim of human trafficking to produce natural hair to be sold as hair extensions. These extensions are more than natural though, they are deadly to those who wear them.

Japan has always had a knack for giving us pretty zany storylines, and one involving killer hair extensions came unsurprising to me. What DID surprise me though was how serious of a film this was, and not a psychotic effort like Tokyo Gore Police or Attack Girls Swim Team vs The Undead, both films with equally crazy plots.

Shion Sono’s storyline is quite simple on the surface, but comes with many unique qualities that set this apart from the usual mindless stories that come with films like this. There is plenty of character development following our main protagonists, and a fair amount of mystery regarding the source of the deadly hair extensions produced en masse by the psychotic man selling them to unsuspecting women seeking satisfaction in Japan’s ever-constant world of aesthetically pleasing elements. I loved how he used a tormented girl (of mysterious origin) to produce the large locks of hair, and while she played a low-key role she came with much creepiness and eventually played a slightly heavier role as the film went on. The kills written into the film were great and took much time in their deliverance, making for some very enjoyable kill sequences that took their sweet time in delivering some gory and “hairy” goodness.

Sono’s direction is what really sells this piece, because honestly how could killer hair extensions provide for a good horror experience without damn good direction? There was much room for this film to fail due to its plot, but Sono expertly gave this piece to us with plenty of the goods that we horror fans love to see. The atmosphere is great and he gets positive performances from all involved, especially from our lead actress Chiaki Kuriyama(Battle Royale, Kill Bill Vol. 1) who I know all of us horror fans (mainly dudes) enjoy seeing on screen due to the usual badass roles she plays – and while her role in this film is much more passive than her usual roles, she still delivers and enjoyable performance. Aside from all of this, you are probably wondering how well the horror is, right? Well Sono’s direction of the horror is the most absolute reason behind my enjoyment of this piece. The first half of the film was heavy in development and didn’t include much horror, which lead me to think that maybe this flick was going to bomb and not reach potential, but sure enough once the horror really kicked in during the second half I was sold on this one due to how damn awesome it was. We get a fair mix of live-action FX and CGI, which I was not surprised at nor did I balk over given this is killer hair we are talking about here. It was awesome watching the hair grow and literally consume the host wearing the extensions, who was then butchered in awesome fashion thanks to full-frontal direction from his very efficient horror director.

Overall, Exte: Hair Extensions is a cool Japanese horror film that gives us an unusual antagonist, hair extensions, to deliver some pretty good horror with creepy results. While this sounds like the usual cheesy Japanese horror, this effort takes itself very seriously and gives us one of the more unique horror efforts of last decade, and a good one at that.

Rating: 7/10

Director – Jamie Blanks

Cast – Nadia Farès, Robert Taylor, David Lyons, Mathew Wilkinson, John Brumpton, Johnathan Oldham, Puss

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Storm Warning had been on my queue for a pretty long time, partly because I completely forgot about the film, and also because my queue takes longer to read through than Stephen King’s “The Stand”. After finally getting to this Aussie effort distributed by Dimension Extreme, who I usually find favor in, I am glad to say that Storm Warning is one film that I regret letting get away from me for so long. The story is nothing new, but the horror is intense, non-stop, and consists of some of the coolest kill sequences I have seen in a long time thanks to no-holds-barred direction.

When married couple Rob and Pia embark on a short boating journey off the coast of Australia, their high hopes of adventure and relaxation turn to panic when they find themselves stranded in a marsh covered in heavy brush and experiencing heavy rainfall. Desperate for help, they make their way into a decrepit farmhouse in hopes of finding someone who will lend them a phone, but instead they find a trio of sadistic farmers who see the intruding couple as their newest source of torturous entertainment.

Going into this piece I figured I would leave with a positive experience due to the good reviews I read beforehand, but I had no idea that I would enjoy this one as much as I did. Things start off a bit bland and may have you thinking “OK, how is this going to be good?”, but once Rob and Pia make it to the marsh and the rain begins to pour we are given non-stop horror from then on out, and GOOD horror too. I enjoyed the “backwoods” horror theme of using a group of crazy Australian rednecks to maniacally torment our two protagonists, who unsurprisingly are of the non-confrontational variety and without weaponry are at bay to their captors. The torment the rednecks put on them is awesome, and to my enjoyment was not so much physical torment but more emotional and psychological torment, which was a break from the usual modern day backwoods killer films like Eden Lake, which I did enjoy as well. While the torment brought on Rob and Pia was great, they eventually got wise and used some pretty sweet ingenuity to provide torment of their own and turn the tables on their attackers, which included some insanely awesome gore sequences had me smiling about as much as I could. I will admit that the booby-trap scene in the barn was a bit far-fetched and cheezy given Pia, who completed most of the trap, seemingly had no prior knowledge of how to build such a deathly contraption. She claimed her profession as being an artist, so I suppose it is possible that she had a background in building baroque objects out of scrap which lead to her building the awesome device, but regardless the scene was incredible, and that is what matters. Now, the “vagitrap” scene was one that I (and most likely 90% of all other viewers) saw coming long before the scene commenced, but that did not detract from how heavy-hitting and awesome it was, making for the best sequence the film had to offer.

Director Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend, Valentine) did a fantastic job executing this film, starting with awesome atmosphere that set the dark and gloomy tone that the story would take and use to full potential. The sets were fantastic and used to provide the visual essence of the awesome horror brought before us, and Blanks’ execution of the horror gave us a full-frontal approach to it that resulted in some of the best gore sequences I have seen in a long while. It really is a shame that this Ozploitation effort has slipped under the radar for so long given how much awesome horror it has to offer, but that only made the experience all-the-more enjoyable for me and will most certainly do the same for you.

Overall, Storm Warning is a great Australian horror effort that gives us a somewhat unique take on the “backwoods” killer sub-genre and gives us some insanely awesome kill sequences to marvel at. The story is a simple one, but the writing and direction execution make for one of the most enjoyable horror experiences I have faced in recent time, and I gladly recommend this to all those who love horror films that give a bloody good time, literally.

Rating: 7/10

Director – Alex Orr

Cast – Mike Brune, Anna Chlumsky, Katie Rowlett, Matt Hutchinson, Marla Malcolm, Mr. Malt

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Blood Car is a film that I had never heard of until just a few days ago, and after reading its uniquely insane plot I decided this was a flick that I had to get my hands on, and I am glad that I did.  Low-budget horror has a special place in every horror fan’s heart because our horror heroes got their start in such films, and they are usually the most fun to watch due to the creativity and ingenuity that must be furnished by the filmmakers in order to deliver a good watch.  Well, Blood Car solidifies itself as one of the very best and most fun low-budget horror films of the millennium, and delivers the goods in well-shot and awesome fashion.

In a day and age where gas prices are nearing $40 a gallon, vegan loser Archie Andrews(Mike Brune) begins work on a car that runs on a common vegan item, wheatgrass.  When Archie mistakenly learns that his car will run on blood, a series of unfathomable events ensue in which Archie continues his work on his blood-fueled car, leaving no person nor neighborhood pet safe from Archie’s thirst to keep his car, now a chick magnet, running.

If you are looking for that next insane and quirky horror film that delivers a zany plot with awesome execution then Blood Car is sure to satisfy your needs.  Going into this watch without a serious state of mind will be critical towards your enjoyment of this film, and an appreciation for the low-budget side of horror is always recommended.

Blood Car’s story is a genius one, and is definitely one of the better films to focus on environmental issues.  Films like The Thaw and Tooth & Nail took a serious approach to global warming and fossil fuels, and Blood Car pisses on both of those films by giving us the opposite approach, and with much better results.  We are immediately thrown into the kooky world people are forced to live in due to the extremely high prices of gas, with young people forced to go to junkyards in order to have sex in cars, one of many clever and witty elements thrown into this laughter-filled 76 minute watch.  Watching Archie struggle in his attempts to fuel his car was awesome, and writer/director Alex Orr’s screenplay, co-written with Adam Pinney was tight and kept the film going at a positive pace.  Once Archie develops a formula for delivering fresh blood to his car via the awesome invention of a meat grinder built into his trunk and secured into his gas line, things really get going and grabs the attention of a secret government agency developing a blood car of their own.  I honestly did not favor the third act of the film, which included the most usage of the government agency, but in the end the film had already solidified itself as a solid watch, and the third act did little to damage that.

Alex Orr’s direction is top-notch, and he delivers many favorable elements that make Blood Car a fun film to watch.  His camerawork and cinematography is uniquely engaging, his musical score is fun and quirky, and he executes his characters to mirror the kooky world they are forced to live in due to the high gas prices.  Orr manages to include a nice campy feel to the film as well, with numerous awesome kills and plenty of tits and sexual action to satisfy those of you freaks who require a little more than a good story to get your rocks off.  Oh, and to top off his awesome direction…we get plenty of gory goods as well.  This should not come as a surprise to  you given the film’s blood-fueled plot, but I had to make a note of it due to how well executed the gore and kill scenes were, a nice finishing touch to an awesome debut full-length film from Alex Orr.

Overall, Blood Car is an awesome watch that delivers a truly unique plot complimented with good comedy, plenty of zany fun, and awesome kills as well.  Orr’s direction is equally good, with perfect execution and lots of gore to go around.  Give Blood Car a watch.

Rating: 7/10

Director – Mark Young

Cast – Nicole DuPort, Rider Strong, Michael Kelly, Alexandra Barreto, Robert Carradine, Vinnie Jones, Emily Catherine Young, Kevin E. Scott, Zack Robidas, Michael Madsen, Beverly Hynds, Rachel Miner

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Tooth and Nail has been on my queue for quite a while, and to satisfy my recent craving for some apocalyptic horror I decided to finally give this one a watch.  Debuting as part of Horrorfest 2007’s 8 Films To Die For, I expected a mediocre effort going into this film, and that is exactly what I was given.  The story and atmosphere are good and sure to provide enjoyment for fans of apocalyptic horror, but silly dialogue and lack of execution on key elements kept Tooth and Nail from achieving anything above a mediocre rating.

In a post-apocalyptic world, a group of survivors lead by Professor Darwin(Robert Carradine) have holed up inside an old hospital, sharing supplies and doing what they can to rebuild their lives.  When they witness a young woman in trouble they rescue her and accept her into their group, but their kind gesture soon becomes and ill-fated one.  Following the young girl was a hoard of ruthless cannibals, referred to as “Rovers”, and what was once a quiet and secure sanctuary is now a battleground for the survivors who must fight off an outnumbering, very powerful, and very hungry enemy.

I have always enjoyed post-apocalyptic horror films because they are easy for me to relate to in this day and age.  Every day we hear some sort of banter on the news or radio about how the world is going to end very soon either by or own hand or by God’s hand, so these films allow me to put myself in the situations the characters are in and see what I would do in their shoes.  In other words, the films envelops me, making for a fun experience in that sense.

Tooth and Nail’s apocalypse came not in the form of global warming or nuclear war, but something much simpler, and in my opinion…hard hitting.  So what caused the apocalypse in the film?  Simply put: we ran out of gas.  I have honestly never seen a film of this type which came with such a simple explanation for the apocalyptic events that took place, and the film backs this idea up with positive explanations as to how what seemed like a simple element(gasoline) turned the world upside down when we ran it till the last drop.  To make matters even better, the film never takes a strong political stance or exhibits stupid propaganda, and instead gives us what we came to see…horror.

Setting the film in an abandoned hospital was a genius idea because it allowed our characters numerous places to hide from their attackers, but it also allowed the attackers numerous ways to get into the hospital as well.  I fully enjoyed how the location was used, and basically the entire film’s runtime takes place in the abandoned hospital.  We are given a lot of characters to follow, which I did not mind one bit because none of them were useless and underused, plus it provided more deaths for us to marvel at as well.  Normally a film with such a location would qualify as a nowhere-to-run scenario, but that was not the case here because our protagonists had the opportunity to run, but instead chose to stay and hide due to how outnumbered they were, and idea that I enjoyed.  We get some positive character play between the numerous characters involved, although this occurred mainly in the realm of the protagonists.  While our antagonists, the “Rovers” were interesting and fun to watch, they really did not provide anything more than hack and slash killing and cheezy one-liners.

Writer/director Mark Young’s directing job was so-so in this film, with the majority of his positive elements coming in broad areas and his negatives coming in the form of the “little things” that matter.  I enjoyed his dark and gloomy atmosphere as well as his locations used for the hospital, and he managed to keep things interesting for a film that takes place pretty much in one location.  He threw in lots of positive live-action gore, and his execution during the kills scenes was top-notch as he did not shy away from showing the goods with the fullest intent of making the viewer flinch.  The acting performances were mostly mediocre at best, and even veterans Ryder Strong(Cabin Fever, Borderland, “Boy Meets World”, Vinnie Jones(The Midnight Meat Train, Snatch, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), and Michael Madsen(Reservoir Dogs) were unbelievable in their roles.  The latter two were “Rovers” and did not see very much screen time in comparison to Ryder Strong, and it honestly seemed like they were paid for a day’s work, produced their lines, and went off to film more serious efforts.  Thankfully, the film’s climax is a very enjoyable one that bleeds awesomeness and is executed to the best of Mark Young’s ability, and kept this mediocre film from sliding further into the negative direction it was headed.

Overall, this is a decent film that delivers an interesting premise on its post-apocalyptic world, and delivers some good carnage as well.  Certain elements could have been better written and executed, such as the film’s crappy dialogue and poor acting performances, but awesome kill sequences aided by the film’s fantastic climax kept this film an OK watch in the end.

Rating: 5/10

Director – Brett Sullivan

Cast – Alanna Chisholm, Lauren Roy, Nick Abraham, Paul Soren, Nickolas Tortolano, Adam Seybold

Release Year – 2007

Reviewed by John of the Dead

Well, once again I was suckered into giving a low-budget film with a cool DVD cover a viewing, despite knowing that it would most likely not end favorably for me.  The suckering became worse when this film actually took off to a great start, delivering some nice creepy scenes and positive horror, but slowly and assuredly The Chair sunk into horror hell and left me with that ugly feeling inside.

Danielle, a young psychology grad student, moves into a century-old Victorian home to work on her thesis and rebuild her life after a traumatic event.  Soon after moving in she begins to notice strange phenomena going on in the home in the wee hours of the night, and proceeds to document the events with a video camera.  Unbeknownst to Danielle, she has released the spirit of a malevolent child killer, a killer who uses Danielle to bring forth his deadly torture device…the “Panic Chair”.

I have always been a fan of horror films involving someone moving into a creepy old home and suffering paranormal events, so naturally that is what really attracted me to this film.  Director Brett Sullivan(Ginger Snaps: Unleashed) did a good job providing a great atmosphere for the film, with a dark and gloomy cinematography and a house spooky enough to deliver some good scares if used properly.  The first act of the film got things going very well, with some nice spooky scenes delivered to us via sound and spooky visuals.  I knew that Brett Sullivan could deliver a positive directing effort given his success with the slow yet positive Ginger Snaps: Unleashed, but sadly everything else after the first act fell below mediocre levels.  I don’t know what happened, but after the first act the acting performances from everyone involved went to crap, as did Sullivan’s execution.  We no longer received any good chills or good camerawork, but all of this is secondary to the film’s biggest flaw…the script.

Writer Michael Capellupo did an OK job with the film’s overall plot, which included several twists and turns and a pretty awesome torture device in the “Panic Chair”, but it was the usual and all-too-important “little things” that really tore this film apart.  Poor dialogue and horrible character play ruined what was going on between the film’s low number of characters, which was worsened when you compounded that with the horrible acting performances from the film’s actors.  I often knock a film for throwing in useless characters, which usually comes as a result of the writers throwing in a lot of characters to serve as eye candy and wind up not having enough material to support them all.  Well, The Chair delivered a first for me in that it was a film with no more than five on-screen characters throughout the entire film, of which only three were on screen more than 10 minutes, yet somehow Mr. Capellupo managed to give us some worthless character usage often reserved for films that try to give us more than they bargained for.  It really is a shame when you have less to work with yet you still fail as far as your characters go, but it seemed like The Chair enjoyed staying in the negatives.  The rest of the storyline involves the backstory of the events that lead to the child-murdering spirit inhabiting the house, and along with the twists and turns the film delivered I honestly felt that Capellupo failed at selling the story to me, and instead left me with an uninteresting film that I had to return to given this film actually put me to sleep.

Overall, The Chair is a low-budget watch that despite some early promise, quickly sunk into despair thanks to a poor story and equally poor direction/execution.  This is one film that I recommend you stay away from.

Rating: 3/10