Feast II: Sloppy Seconds – 4.5

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Director – John Gulager

Cast – Diane Goldner, Clu Gulager, Jenny Wade, Martin Klebba, Juan-Longoria Garcia, Carl Anthony Payne II, Hanna Putnam, Tom Gulager, Amy McGee, Melissa Reed

Release Year – 2008

Reviewed by John of the Dead

This film is the obvious sequel to the excellent Project Greenlight film Feast, which is one of the few films that has received a 10/10 rating from me. Unlike most sequels, this film returns with it’s original director John Gulager(“Feast“, “Feast II: Sloppy Seconds”, Feast III: The Happy Finish“) as well as it’s two writers Patrick Melton(“Feast”, “Feast II”, “Feast III”, “Saw IV“, “Saw V“, “Saw VI“) and Marcus Dunstan(Feast, Feast II,  Feast III, Saw IV, Saw V, Saw VI). Now normally when a great film returns it’s director and writers for a sequel, the sequel is usually good. However in this case, the sequel is FREAKIN HORRIBLE!

This film picks up right where the first film left off, with a few of the survivors making their way to a small town. The monsters soon show up at the small town and begin the gory carnage we saw so much of during the first film. As the town’s population continues to dwindle downwards our survivors must band together with the rest of the town’s survivors to stay alive and trek across town to a very well fortified police station.

I have no idea what John Gulager and his writers were thinking with this sequel. They went away from the main elements that made the first film so great; the pacing, awesome characters, good dialogue, great tension, and it was just plain fun. “Feast II: Sloppy Seconds” fails in all of those categories. The pacing for the film was mediocre as we were given some pretty cool scenes, yet the film would slow down for a while and honestly get a bit silly until the next chunk of carnage kicked in. The characters in this film were boring, unlikable and nowhere near as interesting as those in the first film. They did have the introduction-type entrances like the first film had, although these introductions were changed a bit and were not nearly as awesome as those in Feast. I really had a problem with the use of one of the female survivors from the first film. She really had no purpose in this film and I still try to figure out why on Earth she was written into this flick. It seemed early on that she was going to provide some kind of conflict in this film, which I was excited about. However we rarely even see her and when we do there’s nothing remotely interesting going on with her. What a waste of a character…seriously. So how was the dialogue for this film? Well…not very good. The first film really used good and interesting dialogue to keep the film going during the slower parts and just excelled even more during the faster parts. It seems this film’s filmmakers really aimed to go for the more comedic approach, and failed miserably. That, or it is even possible that without Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Wes Craven producing this film John Gulager and his writers did not have a chance of recreating the first film’s greatness. The first film did have it’s funny moments, but it was a true horror film with comedic elements in it, not like this piece of junk that tried very hard to be funny but mostly was NOT. John Gulager’s direction in this film is quite horrid and makes me think that maybe he had a lot of help from Project Greenlight. Way too many times we are shown crappy cinematography, forced to hear a crappy score, and worst of all…there were some scenes(mainly flashbacks) that made ABSOLUTELY no sense at all! Oh, and some of the weaker “bleeding heart” individuals may have a problem with one scene in this film that even I myself, the desensitized horror buff who loves all types of controversy, found very distasteful and downright despicable.

The monsters in this film closely resembled those in the first film, although these monsters were nowhere near as creepy for some reason. I also didn’t like the fact that a lot of the monsters were CGI, compared to the all live-action monsters in the first film. We do get some live-action monsters in this film, but only for close-up shots and even then I don’t think the actors in the suits did a great job of making the monsters scary.

I know I’ve done nothing but bash this film…but it did have it’s good moments, and they all pretty much had to do with gore. Haha! Feast II: Sloppy Seconds really lives up to the term “sloppy”, so  I guess it’s not a complete letdown is it? We are given a particularly brutal scene involving the survivors dissecting a dead monster only to have it fart several times, spew toxic stomach acid everywhere, and even begin urinating all over the cast for what seemed like an entire minute! No joke! I really felt that this flick really had moments to shine on but did not use those scenes to benefit the film and instead decided to go the “comedic” route and just fail miserably.

Overall, this is a pretty crappy sequel to one of the greatest horror films this millenium and one of my personal favorites. Only watch if you are bored or want to see some sweet gore.

Rating: 4.5/10

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